Saturday: Woke up to snow. Mixed up a batch of sourdough bread, now rising. First rise: five hours. This is how it is when using wild yeast starter. The second and final rise, in loaf pans, is at least two hours. There is no need to keep the dough warm and out of drafts, as required when making bread the usual way. It sits out, tough, no coddling.
Will make pancakes with the remainder of the starter. I leave on Thursday for Regina, where Karen and I will board a plane bound for Calgary and transfer to a plane that will take us to Kelowna to see Dad. It’s a bad time to do this, for even though we’ve all had our vaccinations we could still be carrying the virus to others who have not yet been. I’m not proud of our decision, for this reason: it seems irresponsible and hypocritical (of me, who has been so strictly avoiding any contact that wasn’t absolutely necessary [I don’t even visit my friend, my mother-in-law, just down the road; I don’t visit my aunt, who lives alone and has been struggling with the isolation] and who has been so disgusted with people who foolishly refuse to curb their own socializing and travel; don’t even get me started on the idiots who attend anti-mask spreader-events, thinking they’re smarter than everyone else). For us the deciding rationale is that we were unable to be with Dad during his months-long, life-threatening ordeals, as the hospital would not allow us in, and now that he’s home and feeling better is the time to go. He’s improving every day now, and we all assume this will continue. But no one can be sure of the future, and so we will go now. What if we didn’t, and he took another sudden, unexplained turn for the worse? If that should happen now, after all he’s been through, and at his age … no, we can’t risk it. It would be a never-ending regret. We’re going.
Dad’s been on his feet well enough to go out and buy a different car. Karen is buying his “old ” one, which he didn’t like because it has too many fancy bells and whistles he could never figure out (sounds like my experience with this new formatting bullshit WordPress has put in place on this server; I hate it with the heat of a thousand suns because it makes posting ridiculously, ponderously inconvenient and frustrating). The car he bought is actually an older model! Anyway, we’ll be driving back home in the car she’s buying from him.
All that to explain that I used all the starter because there’s no point in leaving it here to be fed and watered daily, and refreshed weekly, and discarded and wasted because Scott won’t do anything with it (although he would maintain it if requested), while I’m away for a couple weeks.
Brought a bag of peeled bananas from the deep freeze to thaw and will make banana loaves. That is the plan so far.
Sunday: I was so busy in the kitchen all day that I never got out of my pyjamas.
Just before supper, Emil decided to write an email to Dennis Lakusta. I got him set up at the laptop here and went back to the kitchen. He called me a few times. “Mom, does ‘doesn’t’ need an apostrophe?” That kind of thing. After a few of these questions, I told him just to write it however he could and I’d look it over before he sent it, if he wanted. In the end he sent it without proofing.
More than 20 years ago, we went to a show at the Northern Lights Folk Club in Edmonton and Dennis was one of the performers. Emil became a fan. When Dennis some years later came out to Wadena to do a house concert, he stayed at our place. At any rate, there’s been a lasting admiration and every once in a while Emil will write an email to Dennis.
I had a peek at it later. The part that made me laugh out loud: I like pigs. He had to throw that in there!
Hi Dennis How are you doing? I would like to see you again sometime. This is the first time I have had a weekend at my moms since october. What have been doing now a days? What foods do you like to eat? I went to mexico In the year 20 20. Did you rite that new song called Emil goes to camp easter seal yet? What songs do you sing now? Do you have a new car yet? I didnt get to go camp easter seal last year. I watch movies at home. I look at books at home. What do you do at home? I like pigs My mom made banana bread today. And my mom made banana muffins today. What all did you do today? What did you have for supper tonight? Do you have any cats or dogs at home? from Emil
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What do I want to say? That there are situations that are never resolved, that one has to live with. Strategies that help and strategies that don’t.
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Small griefs are tributaries of the river of loss. – C. Couture
I remembered not to fight or dam my sorrow or my regret.
I remembered not to hurry my way through crying, for unread pages of grief will simply wait until I next lay eyes on them. There is no skipping ahead. – C. Couture
Christa Couture is the mother of two babies who died, and she has written a memoir.
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90 YEARS AGO
March 27, 1931
R. A. Kendel, of the Searle Grain
elevator, showed us a sample of whole
wheat flour which was ground three
times in an ordinary feed grinder. It
certainly looks as good as any flour of
this kind you could buy and Roy says
it makes even more palatable bread
than white flour.
-Looking Back, Wadena News
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